Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine.""Yours?Can you prove it?""Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.""请原谅,你占了我的位置.""你的位置?你能征明这点吗?""能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"Always Thirsty"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me.""That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?""No, but I am always thirsty!"总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water?Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.Father: What"s that got to do with it?Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.一个有效的方法爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?Mom: No, Honey, what?Kate: A nice teapot.Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.凯特的礼物凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill.""I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive.""Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”Waste or Save?Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?浪费还是节约父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?Why Is He HowlingDentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!他为什么喊牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!
 

相关内容

10个经典英语笑话(带中文对照)

   Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."杰 ...

英语笑话(带中文翻译)

   1、How much English can you speak? "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few wor ...

经典英语短文(带中文翻译)

   However mean your life is,meet it and live it do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have som ...

爆笑英语笑话 中英文对照

   英语笑话【 英语笑话【Laughter】 】 Recently,I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chair of a dining set bought from us in the 1930s.I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager.“You’ll never beileve this one,” ...

经典英语小笑话

   经典英语小笑话 当秋意渐浓,才发觉冬日的温馨已飘然而至。冬天来了,这一刻什么都可能忘记,唯独忘不了向你送上温暖的关怀:寒冷的日子里,寒冷的日子里好好心疼自己,快乐过冬! the lowest grade "Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero." "Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade ...

经典英语短文(带中文翻译)

   However mean your life is,meet it and live it do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is.You may perhaps have som ...

英语自我介绍 有中文对照

   个人陈述 各位老师,大家好,我叫 XX,今年 23 岁,就读于 XXXXXXX,在四年校园生活当中, 我除了刻苦学习本专业知识以外,还充分利用课余时间开展自身爱好活动, 如阅读,素 描,运动等.我经常自发练习手绘,对工业设计具有浓厚的兴趣.今天我怀着激动的心情 选择了贵校的工业设计专业,望有机会在够在此专业得到深造. 我深知,跨专业考研难度较大.不过,这也给了我一次重新选择自己喜爱的专业的机 会.我相信凭借我的基本功和对工业设计专业的热爱,这将是一次非常好的机遇,我会努 力抓住这次机会. 我 ...

100个经典英语电影推荐

   www.ladycc.cc 女装品牌大全 时尚女装搭配 美容护肤 淘宝网品牌女装 justyle 官网 淘宝网网上购物 经典英语电影推荐 1. 阿甘正传 “FORREST GUMP FORREST GUMP” Tom 主演:Tom Hanks 汤姆 汉克斯 YOU 2. 电子情书 “YOU VE GOT MAIL YOU’VE MAIL” Tom 主演:Tom Hanks 汤姆 汉克斯 Meg Ryan 梅格 瑞安 THE 3 居家男人 “THE FAMILY MAN MAN” Nicola ...

经典英语小短文(中英文对照)

   经典英语短文(带中文翻译) 中文翻译, 英语短文 However mean your life is,meet it and live it do not shun it and call it hard names.It is not so bad as you are.It looks poorest when you are richest.The fault-finder will find faults in paradise.Love your life,poor as it is ...

常用外贸英语的英文简写及中文对照

   常用外贸英语的英文简写及中文对照 A.A.R = against all risks 担保全险,一切险 A.B.No. = Accepted Bill Number 进口到单编号 A/C = Account 账号 AC. = Acceptance 承兑 acc = acceptance,accepted 承兑,承诺 a/c.A/C = account 帐,帐户 ackmt = acknowledgement 承认,收条[/color] a/d = after date 出票后限期付款(票据) ...

热门内容

英语缩略语1

   一,常用词汇: 常用词汇: Personal Identification Number 个人识别码 PIN: GMT:Greenwich Mean Time 格林威治时间(世界 GMT: 格林威治时间 世界 标准时间) 标准时间 American National Standards Institute 美 ANSI: 国国家标准学会 GRE:Graduate Record Examination 研究生入学 GRE: 资格考试 ISBN:International Standard Bo ...

英语每日学习20101206

   I7SvqyEgyrCwQb38TutrQXmdgX8KwDQ1HIllxRGPPMHqweiC8YOQV16lPFYYwlp0Cr1iZ8M5e7ylYeCCU 每日英语学习 发行日期:[2010 年 12 月 6 日] 过往期刊 联系小编 点击发信马上订阅 " 本期目录 1.常用英语学习资料电子书下载 2.一天一句话地道美语 我能看看帐单吗~~~~用英语怎么说 3.宅男恋爱公式:你有多少潜在女友?(中英对照) 4.研究:地球再变暖或使蜥蜴进化成恐龙 5.加媒抱怨“亚洲学生太多” 亚裔表 ...

牛津高中英语单元补充阅读(Module6,Unit3)

   江苏省泗阳中学高二实验班阅读训练 选编:胡学军 December 16, 2010 单元延伸阅读 单元延伸阅读 1 延伸 (建议:同学们,根据江苏高考阅读文章长、信息量大的特点,我 建议:同学们,根据江苏高考阅读文章长、信息量大的特点, 们将对课本话题进行延伸阅读。 篇文章。 们将对课本话题进行延伸阅读。保持每天阅读 1-3 篇文章。如果文 词以上,就读一篇, 保持到高考前, 章 500 词以上,就读一篇,500 词以下就读 2 篇。保持到高考前, 定能超过《课标》要求,在高考时得到高分。加 ...

七年级英语My_name’s_Gina_1

   c1Unit 1 My name’s Gina. 教学目标与要求 一、串记口诀 形容词性物主代词 我的 my 你的 your,我们的是 our。 男他的是 his,女她的是 her。 Its 它的牢记着,他们的 their 指复数。 形容词性物主代词,句法功能作定语。 二、学习目标 本单元的语法项目主要有动词 be 的用法, 单数物主代词的用法以及 what 引导的 特殊疑问句的用法。结合各知识点,围绕“初次见面”这一话题进行听、说、读、写训 练。 三、能力目标 1.掌握简单的问候语,并能自 ...

1997年全国硕士学位研究生入学考试 英语试题 及答案

   1997 年全国硕士研究生入学考试 英语试题及答案 Part I Structure and Vocabulary Sections A Directions: Beneath each of the following sentences, there are four choices marked A), B), C) and D). Choose the one that best completes the sentence. Mark your answer on the ANSW ...