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112 The One With the Dozen Lasagnes十二碗面条 [Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.] Chandler: No-no-no-no, we're done. Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone in the kitchen.] Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape. (Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room) Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books? Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers) Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces) Chandler: And, we're done with the yogurt. (Sets yogurt down on table) Phoebe: (softly) Sorry. (Camera pans back to Monica, still on phone) Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth? (Camera pans back to group in living room) Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy! Ross: (waves) Hello! Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross) (Rachel enters with Paolo, speaking Italian. Ross looks annoyed) Rachel: Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos (touching Paolo's nose with forefinger with each syllable) Paolo: Ah, poke (Paolo touches Rachel's nose) a (touches nose again) nose, mmm (they rub noses, then kisses her) Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah (Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen) Monica: So, did I hear Poconos? Rachel: Yes, my sister's giving us her place for the weekend. Phoebe: Woo-hoo, first weekend away together!
112 十二碗面条
不-不-不-不,够了. Syl婶婶,别喊了!如果你告诉过我 你要素面条,我就会给你做素的了. 好吧,肉都在第三层, 也许你能把它们刮下来. 罗斯,你真的把所有婴儿书都读了? 恩!你可以把我塞到子宫里的 任何地方,用不着指南针, 我都能从里面爬出来,就像~~! 噢,太棒了...书上说在有些地方, 人们真的吃胎盘. 呃..这酸奶算是吃不下去了. 对不起. Syl婶婶,我是为了帮你, 我可不是承包宴席的. 那你让我拿这一打面怎么办? 说话真好听,Syl婶婶. 你用这张嘴亲Freddie叔叔吗? 嘿, 罗斯,你知道么,现在你的宝贝就这么 大? 这是你孩子. 嘿, 爸爸! 嘿! 为什么你不和妈咪一起住? 为什么妈咪和另一个女人一起住? 什么是女同性恋? 亲爱的,你能说的,泊科农斯,泊科农斯, 就像 泊科-阿-农斯 (Poc-o-nos) 啊, 戳一下鼻子(poke a nose), 嗯... 么, 么, 么呵 那么,我听见泊科农斯了吗? 是的,我妹妹让我们去她那渡周末. 第一次周末结伴出游! 是啊,进展了一大步. 我知道... 啊, 就是个周末, 没什么! 不是说只是玩玩,不当真的吗,嗯? 这...该玩完了吧,现在? 我想,我们已远远超出玩的范围了, 我现在的感觉只有在 Danielle Steele的书里才找得到. 我是说,当我和他在一起的时候,
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Monica: Yeah, that's a big step. Rachel: I know... (Camera pans to Ross, looking dejected) Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal! Ross: Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh? Shouldn't it be...(makes flinging motions with hands) flung by now? (Camera pans back to Rachel) Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally... (Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach) Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration! [Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.] Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands... Chandler: Ok, you're going to have to stop that, forever! (Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over) Joey: Need a new table. Chandler: You think? [Scene: Carol and Susan's, there's a knock on the door and Carol answers it to Ross.] Carol: Hey hey, come on in! (Ross enters, carrying lasagna) Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna. Carol: Oh great! Is it vegetarian, 'cause Susan doesn't eat meat. Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is... Carol: So, I got the results of the amnio today. Ross: (making flinging gestures with hands) Oh, tell me, tell me, is everything, uhh....? Carol: Totally and completely healthy! Ross: Oh, that's great, that is great! (Hugs and kisses Carol. Then picks up a picture frame) Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis? Carol: Uh, that's our friend Tanya. Ross: (surprised, chuckling nervously) Of course it's your friend Tanya. (looks up frightenedly) Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex? Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw... Carol: The sex of the baby, Ross.
我完全,完全地... ...恶心,我本能的恶心. 我该怎么办? 打电话给移民局? 我可以打电话给移民局! 我喜欢孩子, 他们的小鞋, 小脚指头, 小手... 好了, 你别再这样了, 永远不要! 需要新桌子了. 你这么想? 嘿, 进来吧! 嘿! 我把书都拿回来了, 莫妮卡送你这些面条. 太好了! 是素的吗,苏珊不吃肉. 我肯定是素的... 我拿到超声波结果了. 哦,告诉我,告诉我,怎么样....? 完全彻底的健康! 哦, 太棒了, 太棒了! 嗨,你和苏珊什么时候认识的Huey Lewis? 啊,那是我们的朋友Tanya. 原来是你们的朋友Tanya. 你不想知道性别(性)吗? 性? 嗯,光想你和苏珊一起的样子我就够不 舒服的, 你要再把Tanya加进来, 呃... 我是说孩子的性别, 罗斯. 噢, 你知道了? 噢... 你想知道吗? 不, 不, 我不想,绝对不想. 我不想现在知道,我认为应该等到那时再低 头瞧一瞧, 然后说, 嘿, 带那个的... 或不带的... 你好, 罗斯! 苏珊 那么...你结果怎样? 对, 我们知道了,一切正常! 噢, 那真的是太好了... 知道"那个"了么? 是的, 当然知道了, 它是个... 嘿, 嘿, 这有人不想知道,我就站在这呢! 嗯, 那么,是我们希望的...么? 嗯
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Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh! Carol: Do you want to know? Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't... (Susan enters) Susan: Oh, hello Ross! Ross: Susan... Susan: So, so, did you hear? Ross: Yes, we did, everything's A-OK! Susan: Oh, that's so... (Susan hugs Carol, they giggle, Ross steps away) It really is...do we know...? Carol: Yes, we certainly do, it's going to be... Ross: (flailing arms in protest) Oh, hey hey hey, ho ho ho, hello, guy who doesn't want to know, standing right here! Susan: Oh, well, is it what we thought it would be? Carol: Mm-hmmm (Susan and Carol hug, giggling. Ross stands back, reaches out and lightly taps Susan's shoulder) Ross: Ok, what, what...ok, what did we think it was going to be? Carol and Susan: It's a... Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go. Carol: Well, thanks for the books. Ross: No problem, ok, mmmwa (kisses Carol) oh, mmmwa (kisses Carol's stomach, then punches Susan's shoulder) Susan... (Ross leaves.) Susan: All right, who should we call first, your folks, or Deb and Rona? (intercom buzzer rings) Carol: Hello? Ross: (on intercom) Uh, never mind, I don't want to know. (Carol and Susan laugh) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.] Chandler: Ok, so it's just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one? Joey: That's the rule. Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table! Joey: How'd you get to that? Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio Joey: You knew about that? Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination. Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it? Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together? Joey: Yeah
什么, 什么...你们希望是男是女? 是... 不, 不, 我不想知道,不想. 好吧, 我还是...先回去了. 好的, 谢谢你的书. 没问题, 哦, 嗯 苏珊... 好吧,我们该先告诉谁, 你家人,还是Deb和Rona? 喂? 嗯,没事, 我不想知道. 那么就因为这是我的桌子,就得让我买新 的? 对, 这是规矩 什么规矩?没有什么规矩, 如果有的话,规矩就是你欠我个桌子! 你从哪得的这个结论? 这个桌子一直很结实直到你开始 在早餐时蹂躏Angela Delvecchio(黄油的 牌子). 你知道这事? 这么说吧,看到那罐黄油的惨相, 根本连想象都省了. 好吧, 那我们合伙买怎么样? 你什么意思, 一起买? 是呀 你认为我们的关系进展到这个的程度了么? 为什么不? 这可是个很大的承诺, 我意思是, 要是有人想搬出去呢? 为什么, 你要搬吗? 我不搬呐. 你要是搬的话得告诉我好吗 好, 好, 只是我上个室友Kip... 噢, 我知道Kip所有的事! 我们一起买了个日式古桌,后来 他要结婚走人,结果事情搞得很糟. 好吧,我问你个问题, 作为室友Kip比我好吗? 噢,别这么问 你的日程有些变化. 你4:00的香蕈按摩推迟到4:30 还有Somerfield太太取消了5:30的日式指 嗯
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Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that? Joey: Why not? Chandler: Well, it's a pretty big commitment, I mean, what if one of us wants to move out? Joey: Why, are you moving out? Chandler: I'm not moving out. Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip... Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip! Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly. Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me? Chandler: Aw, don't do that [Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.] Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu. Phoebe: Ok, thanks. (assistant leaves, then walks back in) Phoebe's Assistant: Oh, here comes your 3:
  00. I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum (walks out, Paolo enters) Paolo: Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe! Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here? Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh? Phoebe: Well, Racquela's right, yeah! (Paolo speaks Italian) Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started. Paolo: Uh, I am, uh, being naked? Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked! [Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe is there.] Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows.... Monica: And Monica knows... Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know! Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me. Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest) Ross: Wait?oh?hey?huh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know! Monica: I'm sorry, I'm just excited about being an aunt! Joey: Or an uncle... (Phoebe enters) Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe! Ross: Hi Pheebs!
压. 好, 谢谢 哦, 你3:00的顾客来了. 我不想表现的不专业,但是,很迷人哦.. Buon Giorno, Bella Phoebe!(意大利语) 哦, Paolo, 你好, 有何贵干? 嗯, Racquela告诉我你按摩, 是么? Racquela's说得对... 噢...我不知道你刚才说什么, 我们开
 

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