经典英语小笑话 当秋意渐浓,才发觉冬日的温馨已飘然而至。冬天来了,这一刻什么都可能忘记,唯独忘不了向你送上温暖的关怀:寒冷的日子里,寒冷的日子里好好心疼自己,快乐过冬!
the lowest grade
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
最低分
学生:“教授先生,我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师:“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!”
Real Play
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."
逼真的戏剧
我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时,要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出,并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后,一名学生写道:“这部戏剧是如此逼真,以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上,从电视上看到的。”
the chemical formula for water
Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?
Blonde: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!
水的分子式
老师:水的分子式是什么?
花瓶:HIJKLMNO!!
老师:你在说什么?
花瓶:昨天你不是说H to O吗?
Prepare Yourself
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
自己做好准备
校园里流传着这样的故事:一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着:“妈妈-我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”
两天以后,他收到了回电:“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
经典英文名言 生命是一场华丽的葬礼

  1. Life is a sumptuous funeral and burial.
生命是一场华丽的葬礼。

  2. Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
(william shakewspeare British dramalist)
如果送礼的人不是出于真心,再贵重的礼物也会失去它的价值。
(英国剧作家 莎 士比亚. )

  3. Friendship is like earthenware: once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror: once broken, that ends it.
(Josh Billings. American humorist)
友谊就像陶器,破了可以修补;爱情好比镜子,
一旦打破就难重圆。
(美国幽默作家 比林斯. .J )

  4. Personality is to man what perfume is to a flower.
(C C Schwab. USA Businessman)
品格之于人,犹如芳香之于花。
(美国实业家 施瓦布 C .C.)

  5. Mutual forgiveness of each vice, such are the gates of Paradise.
(William Black, British poet)
相互宽容对方的缺点,乃是通向天堂之门。
(英国诗人 布莱克.W.)

  6. Happiness is beneficial for the body , but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind.
&
nbsp; (Marcel Proust, French writer )
愉快有益于人的身体,但只有悲伤才能培养心灵力量。
(法国作家普鲁斯M) 

  7. Let us suggest to the person in crisis that he cease concentrating so upon the dangers involved and the difficultie,and concentrate instead upon the opptunityfor there is always opportunity in crisis.
(Seebohm Caroline, British physician)
让我们建议处在危机之中的人:不要把精力如此集中地放在所涉入的危险和困难上,相反而要集中在机会上??因为危机中总是存在着机会。
(英国医生 卡罗琳 S)
爱情英文短信-爱情是一副神造的春药
超级经典的二条英文短信,不看后悔十辈子啊!
Love is a potion of philter God-made.
爱情是一副神造的春药。
For women love is a bread ticket undated and timeless;
For men love is a race track venturesome and deathful.
对女人而言,爱情是一张长期饭票;对男人来说,爱情是一条致命跑道。
另类爱情短语
星星啊,我曾无故地爱你很久,后来,我发现你属于所有的眼睛,我不爱你了。后来我又发现谁也无法占有你,我更爱你了。
爱原来是一壶醇香的美酒,一饮就醉了;思念,原来是汹涌澎湃的大海,轻易就将我淹没了;你,原来是朵娇艳的花,在我心中,早已悄然开放了!
很想与你再次相偎,沐浴在纯洁的月色中,静静地看着满目的温馨荡漾在你我心头,直到霜落满头。 ??
一个轻轻的吻,一个甜甜的笑,一个灿烂的你,一个幸福的我。我的爱人祝你快乐! ??只怕来不及,我要抱着你,只到看着你的发上留下了白雪的痕迹……??
?
还记得吗?那年,那场雪,和雪中的你我…… ??
只为和你感触那爱的射线,在你我眼中那一霎那的交融!
你就如童话中的公主一样走进了我的岁月之中,我在虚静中淡泊日月,你的一切就这样深、这样密的进入我的生活,和我密不可分、牢不可破!
深植在我心中的是的你的爱,铭刻在我脑海的是你的祈盼,耳旁时常鸣响着你的呼唤,睡梦中是你梨花带雨的容颜…你,我今生永远的恋人
最爱你的眼,藏着我的深情你的柔情;最爱你的唇,交知着我的热情你的迷情;最爱你的人,给你我的今生你的一生。
爱着,坚持着,这是一个人的权利.不爱了,放弃了,这也是一个人的权利.
只要不把喜欢当成一种折磨,即使是一份淡去的情感仍然可以在回忆保留它最么的样子,那么一切都可以有尊在的理由.
既然走不到一起就不要勉强,其实生活中并不需要这么多无所谓的执着,没什么就真的不能割舍,学会放弃,生活会 更容易.
决定放手也是一种幸福,至少不用再为爱尝辛苦,这段旅途,就当作我对爱的彻底觉悟!
我一生最大的幸福,就是能在每个夜晚轻轻拥你入睡,能在每个清晨拥着你醒来…… ???
  遇到你 , 是缘分 ; 喜欢你 , 是命中注定 ; 爱上你 , 是我情非得已 ; 想念你 , 是我逼不得已。我会用心去爱你。我爱你 ! ??
  鱼说:我终日将双眼睁开,是因为时时刻刻不想你离去!水说:我终日流淌,是因为时时刻刻想要拥抱你! ?
  在漫漫人生的旅途上,我们差点擦肩而过,是你轻轻地拉住了我的手,真希望这双温暖的手永远牵着我! ??
  希望睡前可以轻吻你,希望睡时可以抱着你,希望醒来可以看见你!一直都这样希望,直到永远。 ??
  真想紧紧地抱住你,让你感觉到我因爱你而加快的心跳;真想紧紧地搂住你,让你体会到我因爱你而急促的呼吸。 ??
  老婆,你起来了吗?我现在好想你!亲一下吧!啵 ! 感觉到了吗? ??
  亲爱的,我爱你就像喝白开水,吃饭一样,就像呼吸一样的自然,不眠不息,温温柔柔,所以我会永远爱你。 ??
  让我紧紧地拥抱你,轻轻地吻你的唇,说声“我爱你”,地老天荒,海枯石烂,爱你的心永远年轻。
既然我如此不值得你为我付出一点感情,那等待和遗忘之间,我惟有选择后者.
明明灭灭的人生,我原作一盏灯,温暖你的寒冷,关照你的一生。
想念与你聊天的日子,是你在我最感孤独时送来了祝福,送来了我最想要的,思念之时,更多的是想念你的细心与关怀。人生有你相知相伴,我足亦!
超个性真爱短语
没有理由,没有原因,我就是爱你,爱你,永远爱你,让我们将爱情进行到底!
每一天都为你心跳,每一刻都被你感动,每一秒都为你担心。有你的感觉真好。
相思是烟,相忆是酒,你就如那烟酒,与我时时不分离。
这里是一片美丽的大海,可是还没有人来遨游,我期待着你的到来,在这片平静的海里荡起层层波浪!
上邪!我欲与君相知,长命无绝衰。山无棱,江水为竭,冬雷震震,夏雨雪,天地合,乃敢与君绝!
如果婚姻是围城,我愿永远沦陷其中,做一个决不逃走的俘虏。
你所有的错,都是我的错,错在我没有早一点出现在你的生命中,爱你,体贴你!我会用心弥补你!
你相信缘分吗?那是一种神秘又美丽的牵系。至于我们之间,我只想告诉你,我很珍惜。
人生最大的痛苦就是举着放不下的感情又交付不出去,比如我对你!
我很想对你说,在我心中你是我的全部,我不祈求你以同样多的爱对我,只想有你的安慰和理解。
如果爱上你也算是一种错,我深信这会是生命中最美丽的错,我情愿错一辈子
我虽然不是玉树临风、潇洒倜傥,但我有广阔的胸襟、强劲的臂弯,你爱我吗?
钻石恒久远,一颗永流传。想你只有起点,念你没有终点。爱你一生不变,直到时光不再流转,四季不再变换!
“一生守候”不是一句简单的山盟海誓,而是无数个平淡的日子同舟共济,相濡以沫!
初见倾心,再见痴心。终日费心,欲得芳心。煞费苦心,想得催心。难道你心,不懂我心!
这一生有了你,就算有再大的风雨,再大的不如意,我都要和你走过每一个春夏秋冬,我爱你
多少次在梦里有你的身影,多少次独自内心呼唤你,只想牵你手,温步人生路,爱多伟大。结婚吧!
蓝蓝铁天空飘着雪花,漂亮的皮鞋漏着脚步丫,你我的相识是个神话,请你温柔的回个电话。
我爱你,爱到无法自拔.我为什么会那么迷恋你,我也不知道,只有一个理由那就是(我爱你).
我要寻找一个白色的世界,金色的天空,我要用火样的热情和水样的柔情为你造一个温暖的窝。
既然上天安排我们在茫茫人海之中相遇,那么我的这一生之中便不可以再没有你了,让我们结婚吧!
夜深了!无数的星辰亮起,在天空写下你的名字,当流星划过时,就能将我的思念与祝福传送给你!
宝贝:你到底在哪里,我已经打了798个电话,发了897条短信息,留了987条留言,求求你,我快要疯了…
鱼对水说:你看不见我的眼泪,因为我在水里。水对鱼说:我能感觉到你的眼泪,因为你在我的心里。
你是我最初的选择,也是我最后的选择,更是我今生永恒不变的选择!
你灵气,我傻气;你秀气,我土气;你香气,我酒气;你生气,我受气。一切只为你满意。
这世界可能常常混混不明,但我们还是可以期待永远的纯洁,期待我们心中的水晶。
我是浅淡的小花,缠系在你的枝头,吐露着我的芬芳。谢谢你给我的依靠。
不爱彩霞的虚幻美丽,只爱你若泉水般的清亮见底。
莎士比亚说:女人是用来爱的,不是用来了解。但是,没有了解又何来的真爱?
你是我生命的北极星,有了你,我再也不会在茫茫大海上迷失航向。
要定你,爱定你,就算世界都为敌,我霸气,只是我心太急,因为我要定你。
英文情诗 When You Love(当你恋爱)
When You Love
     by Aphra Behn
           
when you Love, or speak of it,
           
Make no serious matter on it,
           
It will make but subject for her wit
           
And gain her scorn in lieu of Grant.
           
Sneering, whining, dull Grimasses
           
Pale the Appetite, they'd move;
           
Only Boys and formal Asses
           
Thus are Ridicul'd by Love.
           
while you make Mystery
           
Of Your Love and awful flame;
           
Young and tender Hearts will fly,
           
Frighted at the very name;
Always brisk and gayly court,
           
Make Love your pleasure not your pain,
           
It is by wanton play and sport
           
Heedless Virgins you will gain.
当你恋爱
   
 

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