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114 The One With the Candy Hearts情人节糖果 [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.] Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you. Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. Chandler: Any contact? Ross: She lent me an egg once. Joey: You're in! Ross: Aw, right. Woman: Hi, Ross. Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent) Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian?I don't think we need a third... Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks. Ross: An egg? Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg." Chandler: I think it's winning. Ross: I think it's insane. Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend. (Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.) Joey: Think it'll work? Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg. Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.] Monica: You can not do this. Rachel: Do what, do what? Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night. Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy? Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day! Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do. Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night? Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes. Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight... Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend. Chandler: Yes, I know, but her friend sounds like such a... Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, but?come on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.)
114 情人节糖果
告诉你吧,罗斯,她要你 她跟我不熟 我们只是住在同一栋公寓 有过任何接触? 她借过我一颗蛋 有机会了 罗斯 嗨 快,你得再接再厉 你和瑞秋的事没指望 你前妻是个女同志 我们不想有第三回 抱歉, 能给我们一颗蛋吗? 整颗蛋,谢谢 蛋? 对,你拿这颗蛋去还她,说 还给你鸡蛋 我们赢定了 拜托,这太离谱了 她会喜欢的 朋友,带着蛋去 你想会成功吗? 才怪,这简直是自杀 你不能这样做 做什么? 罗杰明天要带她出去 不,菲比难道你忘了为何抛弃他? 因为他惹人厌又可怖 但情人节有人共度也不差 菲比,其他任何一夜跟他约会都无所谓 我知道我会这么做 你们明晚有何节目? 明天有何节目全看今天的表现 关于今晚 不,你不能背叛我 我答应为她朋友带一位男伴 她才答应与我约会 我知道,但她朋友好像是个... 可怜虫,我知道
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Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this. Ross: Hi. She said yes. Chandler: Yes! Way to go, man! (Chandler and Ross hug. Something crunches in Ross' shirt pocket.) Still got the egg, huh? [Scene: A Restaurant, Joey and Chandler are there, waiting for their dates to show up.] Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look? Chandler: Oh, uh, I... don't... care. (Joey's date shows up) Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess. Lorraine: Hi, Joey. Well well, look what you brought. Very nice. Chandler: ...And what did you bring? Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice. Chandler: Janice? (Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.) Janice: Oh.... my.... God. Chandler: (angrily) Hey, it's Janice. [Scene: The bathroom at the restaurant, Chandler and Joey are talking.] Chandler: Ok, I'm makin' a break for it, I'm goin' out the window. Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down. Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months! Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous. Chandler: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're right. (gets up right behind Joey and yells in his ear) Come on, do it, do it, go, come on!!! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.] Rachel: Ok, ok, Roger was creepy, but he was nothing compared to Pete Carney. Monica: Which one was Pete Carney? Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?" Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two months?I didn't get to win once. Rachel: How did we end up with these jerks? We're good people! Monica: I don't know. Maybe we're some kinda magnets. Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. Monica: There's more beer, right? Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if
但她是如此渴望如此脆弱 我想.. 谢谢 你和Janice之后就没约过会 你一定要去 她答应了 干得好 蛋还在? 对 我的样子如何? 不关我的事 切记,不准交换 你有美女相伴,我有贱货作陪 乔依 瞧你带什么人来,真帅 你带谁来? 她在放外套 乔伊,我去洗掉手上的猫味 你帮我和Janice点萄葡酒和红酒 Janice… Janice… 天啊 是Janice 我得逃了,我要从窗子爬出去 拜托,别这样 我一直梦想与萝拉妮约会 冷静点.. 冷静? 你竟凑合我与在五个月内 被我甩掉两次的女人 别这么大声行吗?你让我紧张得… 我一紧张就尿不出来 抱歉,你说得对 快尿!快点,尿啊!... 罗杰虽讨人厌, 但与彼德卡尼相较还差得远 呢 谁是彼德卡尼? 爱哭鬼彼德 我们每次做爱他就哭 “你满足吗?” 我每天都想为霍尔那个家伙哭 我赢了 我和他约会两个月一次都没赢过
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you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual. Rachel: Pheebes, this woman is voluntarily bald. Phoebe: Yeah. So, we can do it tomorrow night, you guys. It's Valentine's Day. It's perfect. Monica: Ok, well, what kind of ritual? Phoebe: Ok. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us. Rachel: Or? Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks. Monica: Burning's good. Rachel: Burning's good. Yeah, I got stuff to burn. [Scene: The Restaurant, Joey, Lorraine, Chandler, and Janice are at the table. Joey and Lorraine are seated very close, Chandler and Janice have backed their chairs away from one another.] Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes. Joey: Good for you. (jumps suddenly) Uh, quarters or rolls of quarters? Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads. Chandler: That's OK. Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty. (Lorraine whispers into Joey's ear.) Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that. Chandler: (disgusted) What? What can't you do? Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there? (Chandler and Joey leave the table.) Joey: Uh, we might be leaving now. Chandler: Tell me it's "you and me" we. Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it. Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me. Joey: You're right, I'm sorry. You're right. Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please? Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler. Chandler: I hope she throws up on you. (Joey leaves with Lorraine. Chandler sits back down with Janice.) Chandler: So... Janice: Just us. Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night! Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom. Chandler: Excuse me. (gets up, jumps up and down while he zips his zipper up... other patrons look at him) How ya doin'?
我们怎会和这些浑蛋在一起? 我们可是良家妇女 不知道 或许我们有某种吸引力吧 我知道我有 所以我不能戴电子表 还有啤酒? 记得我那剃光头的朋友艾比? 她说想要停止与恶男交往的恶性循环 可以举行一个清理仪式 菲比,她是个大秃头。 对 我们明晚可以试试看 明天情人节是绝佳的时刻 什么仪式? 我们可以烧掉他们送的东西 或者是? 或是念经,拿着权杖裸体跳舞 还是烧东西好 烧东西好 我有东西可以烧 我从儿时就能用脚趾夹起两毛五 是吗?真厉害 哪一种两毛五? 对了,钱德 我把照片上的你都剪掉了 如果需要 我有一袋你的头 不用了 确定?真的? 你可以在你的“残酷戏院”中 用它们玩傀儡游戏 你不能这么做 什么?不能做什么? 能过去和你谈谈吗? 我们得先离开 告诉我这是你和我,我们 她说她要在我身上涂满东西 然后舔干净 我不知道涂是什么意思, 但我不想错过 你不能这样待我 你说得对,抱歉
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Janice: So, do we have the best friends or what? Chandler: Joey's not a friend. He's...a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big screen TV? Janice: I will go for that drink. Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne? Janice: Each. Chandler: That's right, each. Oh, and a uh Rob Roy. (to Janice) I've always wanted to know... [Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.] Janice: Happy Valentine's Day! Commercial Break [Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is trying to get Janice out of his apartment.] Janice: Oh, I miss you already. Can you believe this happened? Chandler: No... no! And yet it did. Good-bye, Janice. Janice: Kiss me! (Janice kisses him. Monica comes out for the newspaper.} Monica: Oh, Chandler, sorry. (Janice turns around, Monica sees who it is.) Monica: Ohhh, Chandler, sorry! Hey, Janice. Janice: Hi, Monica. Chandler: Ok, well, this was very special. Monica: Rach, come see who's out here! (Rachel comes out.) Rachel: Oh my god. Janice, hi! Chandler: Janice is gonna go away now. Monica: I'll be right back. (Joey enters from the stairs.) Rachel: Oh, Joey, look who it is. Joey: (in disbelief) Whoa. Chandler: Oh, good, Joey's home now. Janice: This is so fun. This is like a reunion in the hall. (Monica comes out with her cordless phone.) Monica: Oh, hi, Ross. Yeah. There's someone I want you to say hi to. (to Chandler) He just happened to call. Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously) [Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.] Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half. (Ross starts to laugh, and then makes a face like 'Why did I just say that?' Ross' ex-wife, Carol, and her lesbian lover, Susan, enter the restaurant. Ross stares at
三份巧克力慕斯外带 我走了 这是我的信用卡 这一顿算我的。对不起,钱德 我希望她吐在你身上 只剩下我们 真是糟糕的一夜 但我还是一直欣赏你拉链里的衣服 自你从洗手间回来后 抱歉 近来可好? 他们是我们最要好的朋友? 乔伊哪儿称得上是朋友 他… 这笨蛋留下信用卡 想再来一杯? 甜点?大银幕电视? 我想再来一杯 没问题,好女人 拿瓶最贵的香槟来 每人各一瓶 对,每人各一瓶 罗伯罗伊 ...我老早就想品尝了 情人节快乐 我现在就开始想念你了 你能相信会发生这种事吗? 不能 但还是发生了 再见,Janice 吻我 钱德,抱歉 钱德,抱歉。Janice 摩尼卡 真是太特别了 瑞秋,看谁来了 天啊,Janice 她就要走了 我马上回来 乔伊,看谁来了 很好,乔伊回来了 这真是太好玩了 好像是大团圆一样
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them.) Kristin: That's funny. Who are they? Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... clos
 

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