英语笑话 (一) 老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译有名学生答道:"汤姆是玛丽" (二) 小明上英文课时跟老师说:May Igo to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明就坐了下来过了 一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May Igo to the toilet?老师说:Go ahead.小明又坐了下来他旁 边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?小明说:你没听老师说 「去你个头」啊! (三) 某日刘洪涛碰到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我 TM 还是方片七呢! (四) 江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样外宾一见到江青,马上拍马屁 道:"Miss Jiang,you are very beautif."翻译照翻,江青心花怒放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:" 哪里,哪里""江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:"不见得,不见得"翻译赶快翻成英文: "You are not allowed to see,you are not allowed to see." (五) 话说某年某月的某一天, 叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果 A 神 箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果 A 高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大拇指道: AM 「I 后羿! 神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这往返他自大的喊了一句: AM 丘比特! 」B 「I 」轮 到 C 了,他也挽弓,利箭射出!结果正中仆人的关于爱情的文章心脏就听他结结巴巴好 久才吐出一句: 「I.I.I.AM.SORRY.」 (六) 某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说:I am sorry.老外应道: I am sorry too.某人听后又道:I am sorry three.老外不解,问:What are you sorry for?某人 无奈,道:I am sorry five. (七) .一位来自日本的旅客, 坐出租车去机场的路上, 观到一辆汽车经过, 就说: TOKOTA! "oh, Made in Japan!It is very fast!"又有一辆经过,他又说:"oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!"司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:"oh, HONDA! Made in Japan! is very fast! It "后来到了机场, 那个日本人就问: "How Much?" 出租车司机说:"1000!"日本人惊奇的问司机:"为什么那么贵?"出租车司机往返答说: "oh,mileometer(计程表)!Made in Japan!It is very fast!" (八) 英语老师问一个学生,"How are you 是什么意思"学生想 how 是怎么,you 是你,于是来 回答"怎么是你?"老师生气又问另一个同学:"How old are you?是什么意思?"这个同学想 了想说:"怎么老是你" (九) 某男, 粗通英文, 至使馆, 有表要填, 有一栏是 sex 该男思之久已, 毅然下笔: "Once aweek" 签证官看后暴笑,曰:"This item shod be filled in with male or female."该男顿时赧颜,思 之, 填下"female", 官楞之, "shodn't it be male?"男急释曰: am anormal man,so Ihave 曰: "I sex with female." (十) 一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照在考试时因为过于紧张,观到地上标线是向左转他 不放心的问道:turn left?监考官来回答:right.于是他马上向右转很抱歉他只有下次再来
 

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