1、A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
  2、Bush got something wrong with his brain. After medical examination, doctor tells him: Your brain has two parts: one is left, and another is right. Your left brain has nothing right, Your right brain has nothing left.
  3、My Baby Swallowed a Bullet Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowed a bullet. What shall I do ? Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody." Notes
  1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
  2. to point at: 对...瞄准
  4、Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly: "First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking: "What should I do next?"
  5、Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted : $
  10. Teacher : You don't know maths . Ted : You don't know my father!
  6、Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father : So? Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=
  8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
  7、 mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the A living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know? Daughter : She didn't say anything.
  8、Two men were facing each other on the train. First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word. Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
  9、To Go to Heaven Sunday School teacher: Hands up all those who want to go to Heaven? Hands up ..... what about you, Terry? You haven't got your hand up -- don't you want to go to Heaven? Terry: I can't. My Mum told me to go straight home.

  10、The plural Form of "Child" Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom? Tom: Men. Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? Tom: Twins.
  11、When Do People Talk Least? Student A: When do people talk least? Student B: In February. Student A: Why? Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
  12、The Reason of Being Late Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning? Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
  13、A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy."
  14、The Father and His Son Father: You know, Tom, when Lincoln was your age, he was a very good pupil. In fact, he was the best pupil in his class. Tom: Yes, Father. I know that. But when he was your age, he was President of the United States.



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英语 笑话

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   Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their au ...


   英语笑话 1. He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有 1000 个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。 2. They are directly from America Not long afte ...


   ?林肯过生日 Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday. 老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件? 小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。 老师:正确。那么1812 ...


   The World and The King, condemn Harry's inappropriate behavior Sandra laville and Richard Norton- Taylor Prince Charles's household was forced into a difficult situation recently after Prince Harry was photographed in a Nazi uniform complete with s ...


试题研究 2000.3 初中英语

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