Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.”
上周,布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦,结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去,说道:“劳驾您一下!请您告诉我去医院的路,好吗?”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里,从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说:“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。”
Quick Service
  A man took a pair of shoes to a shoe repair shop and said to the shoemaker, "I'd like you to repair these shoes for me, please."
  "Certainly, sir," the shoemaker said.
  "When will they be ready?" the man asked.
  "I'm a bit busy, but they'll be ready for you on Thursday." he said.
  That's fine," the man said, and left the shop.
  The next morning he received a letter, offering him a job in another country. Within 24 hours he was on an airplane to his new job.
  Twenty years passed and he returned to his hometown.
He remembered his shoes.
  "They were a good pair of shoes," he thought. "I wonder if the shoemaker is still there and still has them. I'll go and see.He was pleased to see that the shoemaker was still in the same shop ,although he was an old man by now.
                  
  "Good morning," he said to him. "Twenty years ago, I brought in a pair of shoes to be repaired. Do you think you've still got them?"
  "Name?" the old shoemaker asked.
  "Smith," the man said.
  "I'll go and see. They may be out back.
  The shoemaker went out to the back of his shop -and a few minutes later returned ,carrying the pair of shoes.
  "Here they are," he said. "One pair of brown shoes to be repaired. I'm a bit busy now, but they'll probably be ready on Thursday."
快速服务
一个人拿着一双鞋到修鞋店修理,他对鞋匠说:“我想修一双鞋”。
“好的”,鞋匠说。
“什么时候修好?”那个人问。
“我有点忙,不过星期二就可以了”鞋匠说。
“很好”,那个人说,然后离开了修鞋店。
第二天上午,他收到了一封信,在国外有一个好的工作机会。那个人在24小时之内就去了新工作的地方。
二十年过去了,他返回了故乡,他还记得那双鞋。
“那是一双好鞋”,他想:“不知道那个修鞋匠是否还在那里,那双鞋是否还在,我要去看看”。他很高兴的看到鞋匠还在同一个修鞋店里,虽然现在他已经是一个老人了。
“早上好!”,他对鞋匠说:“二十年前,我带了一双鞋到这里来修,你还能找到他们吗?”
“姓名?”老鞋匠问
“史密斯”,那个人回答 。
“我去看看,可能在后面。
鞋匠出去,到修鞋店的后面,几分钟后回来了,拿着那双鞋。
“在这里”他说,“一双棕色的要修理的鞋,我现在有点忙,不过星期二可能就修好了。”
Keys? Kiss?
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
钥匙还是接吻
我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后,他请全班同学给他挑出尺子,书本,钢笔等。课进行得井然有序,学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣,也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生,我的朋友说:“给我钥匙。”那人看起来非常吃惊,也有点手足无措。看到这种情况,我的朋友想是他没有听清楚,于是又重复了一遍:“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着,他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。
英文:
A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night.
They loved each other a lot.
Girl: "Slow down a little. I'm scared."
Boy: "No, it's so fun."
Girl: "Please... it's so scary."
Boy: "Then say that you love me."
Girl: "Fine. I love you. Can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug."
The girl gave him a big hug.
Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on? It's uncomfortable and it's bothering me while I drive."
The next day, there was a story in the newspaper. A motorcycle had crashed into a building because its brakes were broken.
There were two people on the motorcycle, of which one died, and the other had survived...
The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He didn't want to let the girl know, because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared.
Instead, he was told the last time that she loved him, got a hug from her, put his helmet on her so that she can live, and die himself...
Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairy tale...
  中文:
  一天夜里,男孩骑摩托车带着女孩超速行驶。
  他们彼此深爱着对方。
  女孩:“慢一点……我怕……”
  男孩:“不,这样很有趣……”
  女孩:“求求你.……这样太吓人了……”
  男孩:“好吧,那你说你爱我……”
  女孩:“好……我爱你……你现在可以慢下来了吗?”
  男孩:“紧紧抱我一下……”
  女孩紧紧拥抱了他一下。
 
  女孩:“现在你可以慢下来了吧?”
  男孩:“你可以脱下我的头盔并自己戴上吗?它让我感到不舒服,还干扰我驾车。”
  第二天,报纸报道:一辆摩托车因为刹车失灵而撞毁在一幢建筑物上。
  车上有两个人,一个死亡,一个幸存……
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校慢行".
Speeding
A speeding motorist was waved down by a police patrol car. “I'm going to give you a ticket for speeding,” said the policeman, writing his note. “You've been driving over 60 miles per hour.”
“Would you mind making it 100, officer?” was the reply. “You see, I'm going to sell the car.”
超速行驶
一名超速行驶的驾驶员被巡逻警车拦住后,警察一边做记录,一边说:“我要给你开一张超速罚单,因为你刚才的车速已经超过了60英里。”
“警官,请你把时速写为100英里好吗?你知道,我正要打算卖这辆车。”
 

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