Honesty
A man who is driving a car stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place. . . Man:What's the problem,officer? Officer:You were going at least 75in a 55zone. Man:No,sir,I was going 65. Wife:Oh,Harry.You were going 80.(Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Officer:I' m also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. Man:Broken taillight?I didn't know about a broken taillight。 Wife:Oh Harry,you've known about that tail for weeks.(Man gives his wife another dirty look.) Officer:I' m also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man:Oh,I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife:Oh,Harry,you never wear your seat belt. Man:Shut your dang mouth。 Officer: (Turns to the woman) Ma ' am, : does your husband talk to you this way all the time? Wife:No,only when he's drunk.
Who is boring
A: "the world is so boring people..." B: "why do you say that?"
A: "a person begins at eight o 'clock in the morning until four o 'clock in the afternoon, fishing, didn't catch a thing. You said boring not boring?" B: "really boring, but how did you know?" A: "because I always see him go from."
No eating eggs
"A lion lion, the birth of the young lions will eat;" Dog dog dog, born to eat,... "That is to say, all mothers have something to eat." Little Tom wondering, total want to find a born not eating for three days, but the guy Days didn't think out. The fourth day, he really wants to come out. He was seen, is a fact. He ran to tell the old teacher: "teacher, hen lays eggs. Don't eat!"
The owl
The zoo held discussion! The host asks: "the cat would climb a tree?" Eagle vies to answer first: "!" Host: "please illustrate!"
Eagle tearful said: "when I was fast asleep, the cat climbed up the tree... and then there is the owl!"
Earthworms
The centipede go out, don't be bitten! In order to prevent venoms diffusion, must immediately amputation! The centipede comfort myself a way: "thanks!" I leg, Doctor also comfort way: "yes, your brother, spot after is earthworm!"
 

相关内容

英语小笑话

   英语幽默笑话: 一:She Didn"t Say Anything A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, & ...

英语小笑话

   Who were the Other TWO? An adjective has three qualitative degrees:good,better and best. The pernickety English grammar teacher married a man of quality ."You are the best woman in my life,announced the groom on their wedding night. "And ...

英语小笑话

   某学生刻苦学习英语,终有小成.一日上街不慎与一老外相撞,忙说: 某学生刻苦学习英语, 终有小成 .一日上街不慎与一老外相撞, 忙说 : "I am sorry."老外应道:"I am sorry too." . 老外应道: 某人听后又道: 老外应道 . 某人听后又道:"I am sorry three." . 老外不解, 老外不解,问:"What are you sorry for?" 某人无奈, 某人无奈,道: ...

英语小笑话

   1、They are directly from America Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked ea ...

英语小笑话

   Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML 今天,我给我男友发短信说:“Hi”。他的回复是:“我把你最好的朋友肚子搞大了”。FML Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in al ...

英语小笑话

   黑衣使者英语学习系列 1 A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a se ...

英语小笑话

   Keys? Kiss? A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the rul ...

英语小笑话

   . 和外国人拼英语 和外国人拼英语 国人 一人在公交车上不小心踏了外国人的脚,心想咱不能给中国人丢脸,于是卯足了劲 说了句英文: I’ “ m sorry” m sorry too” 外国人一想:在人家国土上咱不能不礼貌。于是忙点头: I’ “ “ 此人一听急了:Two?以为我不会数数?咬牙道: I’ 外国人大惑不 解: What “ m sorry three” are you sorry for?” 此人心想好啊,连 FOUR 也出来了,我和你拼了!: “I’ m sorry five! ...

英语小笑话

   英语幽默故事 She Didn't Say Anything A mother and son were washing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the room. Suddenly, there was a crash of breaking dishes, then complete silence. The girl looked at her father and said, “It was M ...

几则英语小笑话

   几则英语小笑话 1.Fine for Parking . "Tell me again," asked the judge, "why you parked there?" The driver rose and answered respectfully(尊 敬地), "Because, Your Honor, it said 'Fine for Parking'" (note: "fine" has two ...

热门内容

中考英语阅读理解精练

   中考英语阅读理解精练 ( 一 ) 每小题 2 分 , 共 10 分 ) ( 阅读下列短文, 从各题所给的四个选项中选出最佳答案。 阅读下列短文 , 从各题所给的四个选项中选出最佳答案 。 (一) Where is Love? How can we find Love? Once a little boy wanted to meet Love. He knew it was a long trip to where Love lived, so he got his things ready ...

商务英语口语

   Step 1 认识图表 表格 Table year 2006 2007 2008 2009 item Food , drink and 40% 35% 30% 25% clothing Transport and entertainment Education and housing others 10% 30% 20% 15% 20% 25% 35% 38% 40% 15% 12% 10% 某地区居民近4年的消费变化 某地区居民近 年的消费变化 曲线图 Graph 记忆规律曲线图 柱形图/ ...

新视野大学英语第二版1??4册全部答案

   新视野大学英语第二版读写教程第一册答案 新视野大学英语(第 2 版)第 1 册 Unit 1 答案 III. 1. rewarding 2. communicate 3. access 4. embarrassing 5. positive 6. commitment 7. virtual 8. benefits 9. minimum 10. opportunities IV. 1. up 2. into 3. from 4. with 5. to 6. up 7. of 8. in 9. ...

初中英语单词及词组分组

   初中英语单词及词组分组 辨析 120 组 1. clothes, cloth, clothing clothes 统指各种衣服,谓语动 词永远是复数,cloth 指布,为 不可数名词 clothing 服装的总 称,指一件衣服用 a piece of, an article of 2. incident, accident incident 指小事件, accident 指 不幸的事故 He was killed in the accident. 3. amount, number amou ...

高考英语常用语法图解

   高考英语常用语法图解高考英语常用语法图解 一.名词 I. 名词的种类: 专有名词普通名词 国名地名人名,团体机构名称可数名词不可数名词 个体名词集体名词抽象名词物质名词 II. 名词的数: 1. 规则名词的复数形式: 名词的复数形式,一般在单数形式后面加-s或-es。现将构成方法与读音规则列表如下: 规则例词 1一般情况在词尾加-smap-maps, sea-seas, girl-girls, day-days 2以s, x, ch, sh结尾的名词后加-e ...