弃我去者, 弃我去者,昨日之日不可留 乱我心者, 乱我心者,今日之日多烦忧
102 The One With the Sonogram at the End
102 参加助产训练班 你们男生不懂亲吻对女生的重要性 没错,当真? 当真. 你想了解的一切全在初吻之中 没错 对我们而言亲吻就像是开场, 就像佛洛伊飞 船出场前,你得耐着性子先看完脱口秀 对,我们并非讨厌脱口秀,但那不是我们买 票的原因 问题出在于演唱会结束后, 不论表演有多精 采,你们女生总还想再看脱口秀,我们在车 上奋力杀出车阵,只是拼命让自己别睡着 是哦?给你一个建议。叫脱口秀主持人再度 上场,否则下次,你们只能坐家里听唱片 我们还在谈论性吗? 不,这样很好,只是她看起来是不是有点生 气吗? 她有麻烦事. 她有吗? 他在外头乱搞女人,而她却待家里,设法去 除地毯上乳齿象的味道 玛莎,他们是穴居人,他们关心的问题是冰 河愈来愈接近了,懂吗? 谈到问题,那不是你前妻吗? 我的?不是 是的,她是.嘿,你好 是的,我到冰河期找你 编剧:马卡克夫曼大卫克恩 你的气色好极了,我讨厌看到这样 抱歉,谢了 你的气色也很好,在这儿任何直立的人…, 最近如何?还是…女同志? 问问无妨嘛,家庭生活如何? 玛蒂的疑心病还是很重 卡萝,为何来这儿? 我怀孕了 她似乎不急着离开,人和人,让人讨厌的就 是有误会,他们之间有误会 我看过这一集 喝完没? 抱歉,吞下去的时间太慢 这是谁的小纸团? 我的,我写给自己一张便条,后来觉得自己 不需要,于是将它揉成纸团,我不想活了 她已经拍松过那个枕头,摩妮卡,你已经拍 过了枕头了? 抱歉,各位,我只是不想,让他们有藉题发
[Scene Central Perk, everyone's there.] Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it. Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious? Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss. Monica: Absolutely. Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out. Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket. Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake. Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone. Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex? Opening Credits [Scene: Museum of Prehistoric History, Ross and a co-worker (Marsha) are setting up an exhibit which includes some mannequins of cave people.] Ross: No, it's good, it is good, it's just that- mm- doesn't she seem a little angry? Marsha: Well, she has issues. Ross: Does she? Marsha: He's out banging other women over the head with a club, while she sits at home trying to get the mastodon smell out of the carpet! Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See? Marsha: Speaking of issues, isn't that your ex-wife? (Carol, Ross's ex-wife, has entered behind them and is standing outstide the exhibit.) Ross: (trying to ignore her) No. No. Marsha: Yes, it is. Carol! Hi! Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age. (Marsha extis and Ross waves Carol into the exhibit.) Ross:Hi. Carol: So. Ross: You look great. I, uh... I hate that. Carol: Sorry. You look good too. Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh... Carol: A lesbian? Ross: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family? Carol: Marty's still totally paranoid. Oh, and, uhRoss: Why- why are you here, Carol? Carol: I'm pregnant. Ross: Pregnant?! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.] Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding. Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.) Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that? Joey: Yeah, sorry, the swallowing slowed me down.
Monica: Whose little ball of paper is this?! Chandler: Oh, uh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, and then I realised I didn't need it, so I balled it up and... (sees that Monica is glaring at him) ...now I wish I was dead. (Monica starts to fluff a pillow.) Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine! Monica: Look , I'm sorry, guys, I just don't wanna give them any more ammunition than they already have. Chandler: Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow. Phoebe: Monica- Hi! Um, Monica, you're scaring me. I mean, you're like, you're like all chaotic and twirly. And not-not in a good way. Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come. Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born. Chandler: (looking out the window) Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew! Monica: What? Chandler: Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster! All: Eeaagh! (Rachel enters from her room.) Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring? Phoebe: Yeah, it's beautiful. Rachel: Oh God, oh God, oh God oh God oh God oh God.... (Starts to look under the couch cushions.) Phoebe: No, look, don't touch that! Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder... Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we! Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah! Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last? Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it! Chandler: You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days... Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with... Chandler: ...Dinah? Rachel: (looks at the lasagne and realizes something) Ohhhhh, don't be mad... Monica: You didn't. Rachel: Oh, I am sorry... Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.) Rachel: Oh, but look how straight those noodles are! Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne... Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it. Chandler: Boys? We're going in. (Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.) Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi. Monica: Wow. That is not a happy hi. Ross: Carol's pregnant. Phoebe: (while everyone else is stunned) Ooh! I found it! Monica: W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-... Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.) Chandler: Kinda puts that whole pillow thing in perspective, huh, Mon? Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing? Ross: Well, Carol says she and Susan want me to be involved, but if I'm not comfortable with it, I don't have to be involved basically it's entirely up to me. Phoebe: She is so great! I miss her. Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
挥的机会 没错,我们都知道,父母对孩子的枕头要求 有多苛刻。 摩妮卡…,你吓到我了,你慌慌张张的,而 且显得不是很好 冷静,你没见过每次他们来时,罗斯有慌张 的样子 因为在我爸妈心目中,罗斯不可能犯错,他 是个王子,显然,他们在我出生前有个大型 仪式。 什么? 丑陋裸男有个”美腿器” 有人看见我的订婚戒指吗? 有,很漂亮。糟了?,. 嘿,不要动它们 明天就要还他戒指,我似乎还不够担心。巴 瑞,记得我吗?,我是那个穿白纱,让你在 亲友面前出糗的人,天啊,如今我必须还他 戒指,戒指不见了,叫我如何面对他? 别急,我们会找到的,对不? 是呀,我们会的. 最后一次戴是在什么时候? ”孩仔”,大概是在遗失之前 这年头说”孩仔”的人不多 我今天早上还戴它,我在厨房戴着做… 面条? 别生气 对不起 我就让你做了这么一件事情 你看面条现在变得多直 摩妮卡, 在千层面中找订婚戒指不是那样找 我办不到 我们很高兴做. 语气并不开心 卡萝怀孕了 我找到了 什,什,什么? 你再持续两小时,就会变成我这样 如此一来,枕头的事就可先拦在一旁? 你现在要怎么办? 卡萝说她和苏珊想让我加入, 但是对这件事 我不太感到舒服,我不想卷进去.一切由我 做决定 她人好好,我真想念她 她所谓的”加入”代表什么? 我猜,你大部分的工作已经结束了 总之,她们要我和她们去做超音波检查 你打算怎么做? 我也不知道, 不管我怎么做我还是孩子的爹 面已经被搅乱了,不是吗?
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done. Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Rachel: So what are you gonna do? Ross: I have no idea. No matter what I do, though, I'm still gonna be a father. (Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.) Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right? [Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.] Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste? Monica: Curry. Mrs. Geller: Mmmm! Ross: I- I think they're great! I, I really do. Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she? Mrs. Geller: They all had a thing for him. Ross: Aw, Mom... Monica: I'm sorry, why is this girl going to call me? Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurantMonica: No Mom, I don't have a restaurant, I work in a restaurant. Mrs. Geller: Well, they don't have to know that... (She starts to fluff the same pillow Monica fluffed multiple times earlier.) Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please? Ross: Yeah. (They go to the kitchen.) Mrs. Geller: Oh, we're having spaghetti! That's.... easy. Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me. [Time Lapse, everyone is now eating.] Mrs. Geller: What that Rachel did to her life.... We ran into her parents at the club, they were not playing very well. Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
玛莎路金的女儿会打电话给你 怎么会有咖哩味? 因为有放咖哩 这东西很好吃,真的 你还记得路金一家人?他们的大女儿喜欢 你,对不? 他们家的女儿都喜欢他 不要这样,妈妈 抱歉,她为何要打电话给我? 她刚毕业,想找份烹饪的工作吧,我告诉她 你开了一家餐馆 不,妈,我没开餐馆,我在餐厅工作 他们不需要知道 罗斯,能帮我做义大利面吗? 我们吃义大利面呀?太简单了 我知道这样要求过于自私, 你能不能和他们 说一下小孩/女同性恋之类的事?因为这样 可以让我喘口气 瑞秋到底怎么了?,我们在俱乐部遇见她父 母,他们很不开心 我不想讲他们为此婚礼花了些什么,但是4 万块不是个小数目? 至少她有机会把一个男人留在教堂里的圣 坛 什么意思? 没什么,随便说说 不,不是的,别听你妈乱讲话,你一直都很 独立,就连你小时候,胖嘟嘟的一个朋友也 没有,你还是活得好好的,你会待在你房里 看书玩拼图 而像罗斯这种人则追求卓越,博物馆,发表 论文…,其他人则安于现状告诉你,这种人 不会得癌症 我还知道,这些女人想拥有一切,幸好我们 家的小摩妮卡似乎没有这种问题 罗斯,你呢?最近有什么新闻八卦之类可以 和老爸老妈分享的 好吧, 我知道你们想了解我和卡萝之间倒底 怎么了,事情是这样的,卡萝是个女同志, 她和一个名字苏珊的女人同居, 她怀了我的 孩子,并打算和苏珊共同抚养他 这些你全都知道? 你的状况真的很糟糕吗? 你要知道这些人十分专业,他们会躲在那里 再来个突然袭击 常言道:父母是无法交换的,如果可以,我 要你的父母 我要去尿尿了 如果你是双胞胎,情况会更惨 你是双胞胎?
Mrs. Geller: Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar... Monica: What's that supposed to mean? Mrs. Geller: Nothing! It's an expression. Monica: No it's not. Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you alway
 

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