nelt beside me, holding out the canteen, his other hand with the gun steady on the men. 26 I stared at the canteen as if it were a mirage. Hadn't they finished that pint of water this morning? When I looked up at Barrett's ugly face, it was grim. He must have guessed my thoughts.
27 "You said,‘Take over, bos'n, ' didn't you?" he growled. "I've been holding off these apes all day." He lifted the gun in his hand."When you're boss-man," he added, "in command and responsible for the rest ? you ? you sure get to see things different, don't you?" Lesson Five Are you Giving Your Kids Too Much? benjamin Spock
天下的父母哪个不疼爱自己的孩子?天下的父母又有哪个不望子成龙、 盼女成凤?一个 普遍存在的错误观念是:给孩子的越多,越能体现对孩子的爱;相当多的家长对孩子的物质 要求不愿说“不” 。殊不知孩子最需要的是父母对他们的关心和爱护,无节制地满足孩子的 物质愿望不利于他们的健康成长,也不是他们的愿望。有时孩子的哭闹仅仅是发出信号,请 求家长规定界限。家长应该让孩子从小就学习如何面对回绝、挫折和失败。 ? 1 While traveling for various speaking engagements, I frequently stay overnight in the home of a family and am assigned to one of the children's bedrooms. In it, I often find so many playthings that there's almost no room - for my small toilet kit. And the closet is usually so tightly packed with clothes that I can barely squeeze in my jacket. 2 I'm not complaining, only making a point. I think that the tendency to give children an overabundance of toys and clothes is quite common in American families, and I think that in far too many families not only do children come to take their parents' generosity for granted, but also the effects of this can actually be somewhat harmful to children. 3 Of course, I'm not only thinking of the material possessions children are given. Children can also be overindulged with too many privileges - for example, when parents send a child to an expensive summer camp that the parents can't really afford. 4 Why parents give their children too much, or give things they can't afford? I believe there are several reasons. 5 One fairly common reason is that parents overindulge their children out of a sense of guilt. Parents who both hold down full-time jobs may feel guilty about the amount of time they spend away from their children and may attempt to compensate by showering them with material possessions. 6 Other parents overindulge because they want their children to have everything they had while growing up, along with those things the parents yearned for but didn't get. Still others are afraid to say no to their children's endless requests for toys for fear that their children will feel unloved or will be ridiculed if they don't have the same playthings their friends have. 7 Overindulgence of a child also happens when parents are unable to stand up to their children's unreasonable demands. Such parents vacillate between saying no and giving in - but neither response seems satisfactory to them. If they refuse a request, they immediately feel a wave of remorse for having been so strict or ungenerous. If they give in, they feel regret and resentment over having been a pushover. This kind of vacillation not only impairs the parents' ability to set limits, it also sours the parent-child relationship to some degree, robbing parents and their children of some of the happiness and mutual respect that should be present in healthy families. 8 But overindulging children with material things does little to lessen parental guilt (since parents never feel that they've given enough), nor does it make children feel more loved (for what children really crave is parents' time and attention). Instead, the effects of overindulgence can be
harmful. Children may, to some degree, become greedy, self-centered, ungrateful and insensitive to the needs and feelings of others, beginning with their parents. When children are given too much, it undermines their respect for their parents. In fact, the children begin to sense that a parent's unlimited generosity is not right. The paradoxical result may be that these children will push further, unconsciously hoping that, if they push too hard, they will force their parents into setting limits. 9 Also, overindulged children are not as challenged as children with fewer playthings to be more creative in their play. They have fewer opportunities to learn the value of money, and have less experience in learning to deal with a delay in gratification, if every requested object is given on demand. 10 The real purpose of this discussion is not to tell parents how much or how little to give to their children. Rather, my intent is to help those parents who have already sensed that they might be overindulging their children but don't know how to stop. 11 Parents who are fortunate enough not to have a problem with feelings of guilt don't need to respond crossly to their children when denying a specific request which is thought to be unreasonable. They can explain, cheerfully, that it's too expensive - except perhaps as a birthday or holiday gift - or that the child will have to contribute to its purchase from an allowance or from the earnings of an outside job. 12 It's the cheerfulness and lack of hesitation that impress upon the child that parents mean what they say. A cross response signals that the parents are in inner conflict. In fact, I'll make a rash statement that I believe is true, by and large: Children will abide by what their parents sincerely believe is right. They only begin arguing and pestering when they detect uncertainty or guilt, and sense that their parents can be pushed to give them what they want, if they just keep at it. But the truth is that a child really wants parents to be in control - even if it means saying no to a request - and to act with conviction in a kind and loving fashion. 13 But, you may answer, I often am uncertain about whether to give in to many of my children's requests. That doesn't mean you can't change. First you should try to determine what makes you submissive or guilty. Then, even if you haven't uncovered the reason, you should begin to make firm decisions and practice responding to your children's requests in a prompt, definite manner. 14 Once you turn over a new leaf, you can't expect to change completely right away. You are bound to vacillate at times. The key is to be satisfied with gradual improvement, expecting and accepting the occasional slips that come with any change. And even after you are handling these decisions in a firmer and more confident manner, you can't expect your children to respond immediately. For a while they'll keep on applying the old pressures that used to work so well. But they'll eventually come to respect your decisions once they learn that nagging and arguing no longer work. In the end, both you and your children will be happier for it. Lesson Six Culture Shock
在今天的社会里,很少有人一生只在一个地方生活,只在一种环境里活动。一个人在成 长过程中,从幼儿园到小学、中学、乃至大学,不断离开自己熟悉的同伴而进入新的环境。 越来越多的学子走出国门到海外求学。由于各种原因,人们更换工作单位、居住地点,到陌
生的地方去求生存、求发展。环境的变化往往给人们带来各种生理的和心理的不适,甚至压 力。社会学家把这种情况称之为“文化震荡” ,指出这是当今社会的一种流行病,并分析了 其病因、症状、过程和治愈方式。这些分析也许对于预防和治疗此病有一定的作用。 Cause and Symptoms Kalvero Oberg 1 Culture shock might be called an occupational disease of people who have been suddenly transplanted abroad. Like most diseases, it has its own symptoms. 2 Culture shock is caused by the anxiety that results from losing all our familiar signs and symbols of social intercourse. Those signs or cues include the thousand and one ways with which we are familiar in the situation of daily life: when to shake hands and what to say when we meet people, when and how to give tips, how to go shopping, when to accept and when to refuse invitations, when to take statements seriously and when not. These cues, which may be words, gestures, facial expressions, customs, or norms, are acquired by all of us in the course of growing up and are as much a part of our culture as the language we speak or the beliefs we accept. All of us depend for our peace of mind and our efficiency on hundreds of these cues, often without our conscious awareness. 3 Now when a person enters a strange culture, all or most of these familiar cues are removed. He or she is like a fish out of water. No matter how broad-minded or full of goodwill you may be, a series of props have been knocked from under you, followed by a feeling of frustration and anxiety. People react to the frustration in much the same way. First they reject the environment which causes the discomfort. "The ways of the host country are bad because they make us feel bad." When foreigners in a strange land get together to grumble about the host country and its people, you can be sure they are suffering from culture shock. Another symptom of culture shock is regression. The home environment suddenly takes on a tremendous importance. To the foreigner everything becomes irrationally glorified. All the difficulties and problems are forgotten and only the good things back home are remembered. It usually takes a trip home to bring one back to reality. 4 Some of the symptoms of culture shock are excessive washing of the hands; excessive concern over drinking water, food dishes, and bedding; fear of physical contact with attendants; the absent-minded stare; a feeling of helplessness and a desire for dependence on long term residents of one's own nationality; fits of anger over minor frustrations; great concern over minor pains and eruptions of the skin; and finally, that terrible longing to be back home. 5 Individuals differ greatly in the degree in which culture shock affects them. Although not common, there are individuals who cannot live in foreign countries. However, those who have seen people go through culture shock and on to a satisfactory adjustment can see steps in the process. Stages of Adjustment Raymond Zeuschner 6 Kalvero Oberg describes four stages that people go through when they experience situations that are very different from those to which they are accustomed. Examples of such
situations include moving to a new city, traveling to a new country, and becoming part of a new organization, military unit or corporation. 7 Stage one is a honeymoon phase, during which the new experience is perceived to be interesting, picturesque, entertaining, and charming. You may notice several superficial differences such as music, food, and clothing, and the fresh appeal of the new experience keeps you feeling interested and positive. If you are a real tourist, you probably do not stay long enough for this phase to wear off but go on to the next new location or experience. There are people who frequently change jobs, majors, romantic partners, travel plans, clothing styles, foods, diets, or cars so that they never get very far away from the honeymoon stage of culture shock. It is very pleasant to travel and to try out and explore whatever is new. 8 When you stay in a new environment for a while, you move to stage two - the crisis stage in which the shine wears off and day to-day realities sink in. In a relationship, you notice annoying habits; in a new country, you find barriers to establishing connections or to learning the language beyond a few polite phrases. Suddenly, your new major includes a class or a professor you dislike. The difficulties and unpleasantness of reality replace the charming and picturesque "honeymoon." However, if you stick with the experience and try to deal with it realistically, you will probably move to the third phase of culture shock: recovery. 9 In recovery, you learn the systems, procedures, language, or nonverbal behaviors of the new environment so that you can cope with it on the basis of some mastery, competence, and comfort. After about two weeks in London, I began to feel familiar with traveling by "tube," shopping nearly every day for groceries, paying in the correct currency, buying a newspaper, and using some phrases that are unique to English people. I had the advantage of speaking the same basic language and of sharing a great deal with the English in some broad, cultural aspects. In a country that was very different from my own, it would probably have taken me longer to move into the recovery phase. 10 Finally, the fourth, or adjustment, phase occurs when you feel that you function well and almost automatically in the new culture. You no longer need to make mental conversions of the country's money; you know where services are located and how to use them; you understand some of the customs that accompany ordinary life, and it is relatively easy for you to adjust to them. A greater enjoyment of the new experience is now possible, and you may regain some of the initial positive regard you had in the honeymoon stage. If you stay long enough on a visit from a big city to a small town, or, the other way r
 

相关内容

自考综合英语二课文

   自考综合英语二课文 全国高等教育自学考试指定教材 综合英语二(上下) 主编 徐克荣 外语教学与研究出版 社 Lesson One Twelve Things l Wish They Taught at School Carl Sagan 俗话说: “活到老,学到老。 ”人的一生就是不断学习、不断丰富和充实自己的过程。青 少年阶段,尤其是中学阶段,无疑是学习的最佳时期。中学教育的重点应放在什么地方?美 国著名科学家和科普作家萨根批评中学只抓各个学科具体内容的做法, 他认为中学要注重对 青少年的 ...

自考综合英语二-下册-10课单词中英文释义表格

   综合英语二 下册 10 课单词中英文释义表格 suburb n (also NAmE informal the burbs [pl.]) an area where people live that is outside the centre of a city:郊区 Region n( [C] a large area of land, usually without exact limits or borders:地区 (regional) a) elsewhere ad in, at ...

自考综合英语二-下册-12课单词中英文释义表格

   综合英语二 下册 12 课单词中英文释义表格 doc n a person who travels into a city to work each day, usually from quite commuter far away:每天使用月票往返上班者 n [C] (BrE) the outer edge of an area or a group:边缘;外围 fringe a (of a situation) not encouraging or giving any reason t ...

自考综合英语二-下册-11课单词中英文释义表格

   综合英语二 下册 11 课单词中英文释义表格 doc N [U] the work of collecting and writing news stories for newspapers, Journalism magazines, radio or television 新闻业 (journalist) A calm and sensible; able to make good decisions even in difficult levelheaded situations 冷静 ...

自考综合英语二-下册-08课单词中英文释义表格

   综合英语二 下册 8 课单词中英文释义表格 [V] to be greater in amount or number than sth/sb else in a place, group, etc. predominate 占绝大多数,占优势 N a person in a university who is in charge of a department of studies dean (大学的)学院院长,系主任 A [usually before noun] connected w ...

自考综合英语二 上册10课单词中英文释义表格

   自考综合英语二 上册 10 课单词中英文释义表格.doc washwoman laundry sickly ancestor accumulate n n adj n vt (美)洗衣妇 [U] clothes, sheets, etc. that need washing, that are being washed, or that have been washed recently SYN washing:待洗的衣服 1.often ill / sick:多病的 2.not looki ...

自考综合英语二 上册13课单词中英文释义表格

   自考综合英语二 上册 13 课单词中英文释义表格.doc dwell half-listen shed abruptly vi. vi. n. adv [V +adv./prep.] (formal or literary) to live somewhere: 居住;生存 似听非听 a small simple building, usually built of wood or metal, used for keeping things in:棚, 小屋 突然地 abrupt adj ...

自考综合英语二-下册-03课单词中英文释义表格

   综合英语二 下册 3 课单词学习表格 doc v to give a religious talk in a public place, especially in a church during preach a service:布道; 2[v] (disapproving) to give sb advice on moral standards, behaviour, etc, especially in a way that they find annoying or boring: ...

自考综合英语二 上册06课单词中英文释义表格

   自考综合英语二 上册 06 课单词中英文释义表格.doc shock n 1.[C, usually sing., U] a strong feeling of surprise as a result of sth happening, especially sth unpleasant; the event that causes this feeling: 冲突 2.[U] a serious medical condition, usually the result of injur ...

自考《综合英语二》学习

   综合英语二学习方略 1998 年下半年起江苏省高等教育自学考试英语专业已开始实施新计划。新计划对英语专、 本科的一些课程作了调整,并增设了一些新课程。这对自学考试英语专业的更加完善,更好 地适应形势的变化发展,对教育面向社会、面向现代化起到了进一步地推动作用。 新计划将英语专科段原来的精(一)、(二)改成了综合英语(一)、(二)。为什么要作此修改? 修改后有无实质性的变化?我们又应该如何学习?这是众多考生经常询问的问题, 下面就此谈 谈笔者的几点看法。 综合英语(二)的位置 1989 年出版 ...

热门内容

2012考研英语最完整的高频词汇

   新东方在线 [www.koolearn.com ] 2012 年考研全科全程辅导 考研英语最完整的高频词汇 abide by(=be faithful to ; obey)忠于;遵守。 be absent from…. 缺席,不在 absence or mind(=being absent-minded) 心不在焉 absorb(=take up the attention of)吸引…的注意力(被动语态):be absorbed in 全神贯注于… 近:be engrossed in ; ...

中考英语复习资料3动词

   中考英语复习资料(3) 动词考点集汇、讲解和训练 三、动词 【考点直击】 1.动词的八种时态的构成及用法; 2.动词被动语态的构成及用法; 3.非谓语动词的构成及用法; 4.近义动词的用法区别。 【名师点睛】 1.动词的时态 英语时态用共有十六种时态,其中常用的有8种,它们是:一般 现在时、一般过去时、一般将来时、现在进行时、现在完成时、过去 进行时、过去完成时和过去将来时。 (1)一般现在时的基本用法 1) 经常性或习惯性的动作,常与表示频度的时间状语连用。 时间状语: every…, s ...

LF疯狂英语笔记10

   第二部?第八节 成语的挑战 ??英语真正突破和成功的开始 成语是学习任何外语的最大挑战。无论是听、说、读、写,还是翻译,成语几乎都是最大的拦路虎。经过多年的研究,李阳老师制定出了一整套征服成语的办法。我们将在以后的《李阳疯狂英语?脱口而出》中连续为大家一一奉献。 首先,送给大家最发泄、最过瘾的一个成语六星级句子: *I'm sick and tired of having to support/take care of my brother/husband just because he re ...

初一英语上学期期末考试题一

   初一英语上学期期末考试题一 来源:英语学习网 一.词汇:(10 分) A.根据释义,拼写单词。(5 分) 1. costing a lot of money 2. a cut in price 3. as much as you want 4. it is sweet and brown 5. do sports activities x, p, s, i, e, e, e, n, v i, c, o, s, d, n, u, t n, e, u, h, g, o e, o, c, l, h ...