Gender differences in communication
? Learning
goals ?
  1.To know the gender differences in communication between men and women ?
  2.Thus we can avoid many misunderstandings between men and women
Your task
Listen carefully and try to recall any similar experience that you have. Then connect theory and practice together.
? All
of us have different styles of communicating with other people. Our style depends on a lot of things: where we're from, how and where we were brought up, our educational background, our age, and it also can depend on our gender. Generally speaking, men and women talk differently although there are varying degrees of masculine and feminine speech characteristics in each of us. But men and women speak in particular ways mostly because those ways are associated with their gender.
? The
styles that men and women use to communicate have been described as "debate vs. relate", or "competitive vs. cooperative". Men often seek straightforward solutions to problems and useful advice whereas women tend to try and establish intimacy by discussing problems and showing concern and empathy in order to reinforce relationships.
?
Jennifer Coates, in her book Women, Men and Language (New York: Longman Inc., 19
  86) studied men-only and menwomenwomen-only discussion groups and found that when women talk to each other they reveal a lot about their private lives. They also stick to one topic for a long time, let all speakers finish their sentences and try to have everyone participate. Men, on the other hand, rarely talked about their personal relationships and feelings but "competed to prove themselves better informed about current affairs, travel, sport, etc.". The topics changed often and the men tried to "over time, establish a reasonably stable hierarchy, with some men dominating conversation and others talking very little".
? Dr.
Lillian Glass' book He Says, She Says: Closing the Communication Gap Between the Sexes (The Putnam Berkeley Group) details her findings on the many differences in the way men and women communicate, both verbally and non-verbally. You can nonhave a look at what she thinks are the differences in: facial expression, speech patterns, and behavior.
Facial Expressions
?
  1.Men
tend to cock their head to the side and look at the other person from an angle when listening . ? Women tend to look at the other person directly facing them with their head and eyes facing forward when listening . ?
  2.Men provide fewer facial expressions in feedback and fewer reactions . ? Women provide more facial expressions and more reactions .
Facial Expressions
?
  3.Men
tend to display frowning and squinting when listening. ? Women display smiling and head-nodding headwhen listening. ?
  4.Men stare more in negative interaction. ? Women lower their eyes more to avoid gaze in negative interaction .
Speech Patterns
?
  1.Men ?
speak in a louder voice. Women speak in a softer voice . use loudness to emphasize points. Women use pitch to emphasize points .
?
  2.Men ?
Speech Patterns
?
  3.Men
sound more monotonous in speech. ? They use approximately 3 tones when talking . ? Women sound more emotional in speech. ? They use approximately 5 tones when talking .
?
  4.Men
interrupt others more and allow fewer interruptions . ? Women interrupt others less and allow more interruptions .
Speech Patterns
?
  5.Men
disclose less personal information about themselves. ? Women disclose more personal information about themselves . ?
  6.Men make direct blame (e.g., "You don't call") . ? Women make more blame. They use "why", which sounds like complaining (e.g., "Why don't you ever call?") .
Speech Patterns
?
  7.Men
make more direct statements and "beat around the bush" less often . ? Women make more indirect statements. ?
  8.Men use less intensifiers . ? Women use more intensifiers such as "few", "so", "really", "much", "quite" .
Speech Patterns
?
  9.Men
make more declarative statements (e.g., "It's a nice day.") . ? Women make more rhetorical statements (e.g., "It's a nice day, isn't it?") . ?
  10.Men use more interjections when changing topics (e.g., "Hey!", "Oh", "Listen!") . ? Women use more conjunctions when changing topics (e.g., "and", "but", "however") .
Speech Patterns
?
  11.Men
ask fewer questions to stimulate conversation . ? Women ask more questions to stimulate conversations . ?
  12.Men rarely discuss their personal life in business . ? Women tend to establish more business relationships through discussing their personal life .
Behavior
?
  1.Men
try to solve problems and troubles . ? Women try to match troubles by relating similar negative experiences . ?
  2.Men have a more analytical approach to problems . ? have a more emotional approach to problems .
Behavior
?
  3.Men
are less likely to ask for help. Women try to figure things out on their own. They are more likely to ask for help and accept it . ?
  4.Men are more task-oriented (i.e., "What taskis everyone going to do?"). ? Women are more care-oriented (i.e., "Is careeveryone all right?") .
Behavior
?
  5.Men
appear less less aware of details. Women appear more aware of details. ?
  6.Men have more difficulty in expressing intimate feelings. ? Women have less difficulty in expressing intimate feelings.
Behavior
?
  7.Men
are more apt to yell, shout and swear to release anger. ? Women are more apt to cry to release anger. ?
  8.Men talk more about what they did, where they went and less about relationships with others. ? Women talk more about how they feel and more about relationships with others .
Behavior
?
  9.Men
tend to take verbal rejection less personally . ? Women tend to take verbal rejection more personally .
? More
information ? Please borrow the book He Says, She Says written by Dr. Lillian Glass. Putnam, 19
  92.
? I’m
sure you have learned a lot of gender differences in communication between men and women . ? Understanding between men and women is very important to us in daily life ,especially to the college of foreign languages.
? LONG
LIVE UNDERSTANDING !
? If
men and women could understand each other , the world will become much more beautiful !
Harmonious Family
 

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